My darling, go see a psychologist.

To blame others is to ignore an essential thing: we are the masters of our lives, of our destiny .

It is ultimately our strength, that of choosing, choosing to dominate or to let ourselves be dominated. What do I mean by this?

“choose to dominate or let yourself be dominated.”

It's accepting that no matter the situation, we are the only decision-makers in our lives. This does not apply to our younger ages, but when we are able to reflect and take a step back from ourselves and our actions. Take a break and say to yourself: what can I do? How do I get out of a situation that I don't like?

And this is where a word comes in that many people do not appreciate, because for them it is synonymous with madness or lack of discernment, a sign that we cannot manage our life, that “ It doesn’t fit in there.” I invoke the word THERAPY, so my darling, go see a shrink, or a therapist.

For me, therapy is a kind of cheat code , this weapon that allows you to face life and understand yourself better, understand your mechanisms, your irrational fears. Because most of the time, they are. It's funny, fears are initially there to warn us of a danger in our environment, yet, nowadays, we are afraid of many things: of talking to others, of getting lost, even of telling a person that we love him, afraid of hearing that it is not reciprocal, of being rejected, of being abandoned. So we allow ourselves to have sexual relations, the most intimate relations with a person, allow them to touch us at the deepest level of our being, and yet, pronouncing these three words seems unthinkable, undoable. The good thing is that it shows that it is possible to separate being and feelings, but if we asked girlfriends and other loved ones, we know that most of the time, at the end of these relationships, the question arises the question of feelings, which ultimately belies the fact that body and soul are dissociated.

I have to say that, deep down, it's something that bothers me. Of course, I'm not judging, but I find that this really anchors us in this somewhat consumerist idea that each person exists without existing, that the only thing that matters is the body. And just as we use it for labor, we also use it to manifest desires. I think you should not hesitate to express and accept your feelings, both positive and negative. And that also means doing the work, perhaps helped by a therapist, precisely to understand why we consider ourselves not to be worthy of love, not to be “enough”, to think that we must be extraordinary, better, more, to to be appreciated, loved . Of course, this doesn't come out of nowhere. Certainly you were only taught to perform. So yes, there are aftereffects that explain your feeling today, years later, not understanding why you behave in a certain way.

Sometimes it comes from the way we were treated as a child, our place among our siblings, the deaths of loved ones, etc. Well, I don't know anything about it, I'm not a psychologist, that's why, for me, it's very important not to be in this moralizing side, expecting people to "take responsibility", especially by telling them that they must “accept themselves”, blah blah blah. I say blablabla because it’s active work that needs to be done, and unfortunately it doesn’t happen like that…

Some people hurt themselves, with their relationships, with their bodies, because they expect others to come and save them, forgetting or not knowing that the only person who can do it is themselves. Hence the importance of “heal”, of taking care of oneself and not blaming others, because by blaming others, we take away the power to decide and take the bull by the horns, this bull which is our life, these horns which are the steering wheel that we steer to no longer be imprisoned by our traumas.

Come on, ride my chicken and avoid the potholes. Love you.